A successful date - Finally

Over the years, I have had my fair share of awful dates. From men coming out the gate with proposals and suggestions on the first encounter to the more terrifying near death experiences such as drowning, or being suggested to blow my brains out. Yes, it is in fact a miracle that I even contemplate dating at all these days. For the past few years, I have had profiles on every single dating app I can think of. Most exchanges are simplistic and do not even get a response (Saying Hi does not start a conversation, I'm going to need a full sentence, a question or something with a bit more meat on it) I do on occasion get a hilarious message, which at least gives me a chuckle so there is that. I rarely ever make it to a real date, because the person on the other end usually says something crazy, inappropriate or disturbing before it gets to that. On the rare occasion that there is a face to face meeting, my expectation is usually so low that I have practically already checked out on arrival. Tuesday night was different. For the first time in years, I was genuinely enjoying the company of my date. We had engaging conversations, had many things in common, an genuinely found each other attractive. I am feeling very accomplished simply by making it through a date from start to finish without any weirdness. For now, I'll savor that, and dare I say... I am hopeful that there will be another date in the near future.

5 things I've learned driving for UBER

My Life as an UBER driver. It has now been about two months since the popular ride share service company, Uber launched in Auburn, AL - A college town about a 40 min drive from my house. When I heard that Uber was launching near me, I was excited. I would now be able to add Uber driver to my current roster of multiple professions, right under newly hatched realtor.  As I attempt to find a relaxing position in my "office" for the day, carefully navigating my extremities through the cavities of my Chevy Aveo while simultaneously finding room for my laptop, chords, purse and coffee, I reflect on why someone would subject themselves to this (by someone, I mostly mean myself).  Although you can detect my sarcastic tone, I do really enjoy being a driver and here is why:

1. There are no typical Uber drivers...

Uber has a very diverse work force of contractors. In the last 2 months, I have met a few of my other "colleagues." Being that I work in a college town, I was expecting other drivers to be one out of two things - students or begrudged cabdrivers who finally gave in to this revolutionary way of travel. I was wrong. So far, only one of the people I met is in fact a student and to my knowledge none have previous experience as professional drivers. Uber drivers range from ages 20 to infinity, come in all shades and drive for Uber for various different reasons. Some are just doing it for the fun of it and to make some extra money, some pay their bills and pay off debt with each check. We all have one thing in common, we all love it.

2....but there are typical Uber riders.

Uber is for young , white college kids. Naturally, being in a college town greatly affects the demographic of riders picked up. Most of the people benefiting from a ride share service are people who do not have their own transportation, which in Auburn is mainly college students. It would be silly of me to expect to see middle aged men in suits enter my vehicle. I did not expect a gross over representation of namesakes though. I have picked up so many Blakes, Katies, Peytons and Taylors, that I am starting to wonder if there was a limited supply of baby names to choose from in the mid to late 90's. I have had exactly two fares where the rider was not caucasian, one where the couple was over the age of 35, and two that almost ended in me detailing my car due to...gastro intestinal issues before the clock struck 10:30  PM. Despite the lack in visual diversity, I have met some pretty diverse people when it comes to personalities. You have the ones who only want you to drive them from A to B, the Uber interrogator asking  you a million questions about the service, and the over sharers who in a 5 min ride will disclose all their personal dilemmas to you. No matter how tired I am at the end of the night though, I feel good about knowing that Chad and Brittney got home safely and aren't stumbling down the sidewalk, weaving in and out of traffic, or stranded in some questionable frat house with no way to get home.

3. Uber is safer than a taxi.

I'll probably catch hell for saying this but I think using Uber is way safer than a regular cab service.  For one, all Uber drivers are directly connected to the rider via the app, so you know the name of the driver, what they look like, the color, make, and model of the car picking you up AND the license plate number. That's more information than I have ever know about any cab driver I've hailed EVER. As a driver, I only know your first name so I can verify that I am picking up the right person. Uber however, has the passenger's credit card information and knows where I am driving them at all times. No money is exchanged in an Uber transaction so there is less of a risk of either party to be robbed. Uber minimizes the level of risk simply by the way the system is set up, just think about it. Imagine if you were one of those creepy rapist/murderers that people imagine lurk behind trees in the park at night or around the corners of dark alleys that you have no business walking down in the first place. Never mind the fact that most sexual and violent assaults are performed by someone the victim already know or has met prior to the incident. Imagine you are the creepy person, wanting to inflict harm on someone, anyone for no particular reason. Got it? OK. Now imagine yourself in that moment, pausing...downloading an app, liking your credit card information, opening the app, getting a driver to pick you up all the while hoping that the driver would be just the type of person you like to attack. Or better yet, signing up to be a driver, submitting personal information and your own vehicle's documentation, waiting for 7-10 business days for the background check to go through, then wait an additional week for the Uber phone to arrive, and then getting on the road to attack folks. Did you do it, were you there? No? That might be because NO ONE is that stupid. Anyone can create a make shift cab sign and forge a cab license though. I would bet money that is the preferred route of creepers when preying on innocent citizens, not Ubering.

4. Uber did not invent ride sharing.

The concept of ride sharing as used by companies like Uber, Sidecar, and Lyft is certainly not novel, they merely developed a way to make it available and in a way somewhat exclusive. For centuries, people have been giving each other rides in their vehicles. I am pretty sure the inventor of the wheel was the first Uber driver on earth. We've all done it in some form, whether we took the safe route of carting our kids off to soccer practice or lived on the edge by picking up a hitch hiker. I recently learned from a friend that a system solely based on the honor code and word of mouth has existed in Baltimore for years.  The concept of giving someone who needs it a ride is not innovative, it is just the right thing to do. It is kind, humanitarian, and selfless. So how do you make money off random acts of kindness? Simple. Create an app, and make people pay. Thanks to Uber, only people with a smart phone and a credit card can get a ride. Which, in my opinion still makes what Baltimore has far superior and much more inclusive but possibly less safe.  

5. Driving for Uber is not for everyone.

Uber is not for the faint of heart. First of all, you have to be comfortable with strangers riding in your car. That's the bare minimum. It helps if you are working on your biography or thesis - sometimes you'll be waiting for a rider for a long time. I don't see being an introvert as a great characteristic of an Uber driver. You kind of have to know how to communicate with all types of individuals. Some people who you drive, will not have those same abilities. I have had people apologize for saying the word "black" in the car (Don't ask me why) and have overheard some pretty elaborate weekend plans being described involving detailed descriptions of sexual activities. I have also been accused of calling a person fat (It should be noted that I did no such thing and that the person was in fact not fat but rather drunk, exceptionally touchy, and possibly hard of hearing). [caption id="attachment_2421" align="alignleft" width="300"] The person in the picture above and at the top, is NOT me. All photos in this post are courtesy of UBER[/caption] Overall, I think UBER is great. I love meeting new people, sometimes making great connections, and knowing that I am preventing a person from maybe doing something dumb, like driving drunk. I don't know how long I will continue doing Uber, but as long as it is fun and makes me money, I'll be out there. I think it is safe to say that I won't stop anytime soon. If you, or someone you know would like to drive for UBER, visit their website and type in promo code: AP0L6. See you on the road!

Life

I realize it has been a while since I last wrote a post and I could fill this post with a number of excuses and reason but that's not really productive. Instead, let me just say that I am on a journey. Deep, I know. My life up until this point has been seemingly random to me. No real path or stepping stones to leap onto in a particular order. I do what I please and that's how I like it. Until about a month ago, that is what I thought. An unexpected event hurled me onto a very hard rock of realization that I had been avoiding. I found two things: 1. I have a purpose. When you make a change in your life, whether it is purposeful or out of necessity, it creates a ripple effect. Make a left instead of a right, and you might just realize what lies beyond that block you usually never pass. All the puzzle pieces of my life are slowly but surely falling into place. My high school years, moving to the U.S., past relationships, friendships that have lasted or not lasted, books I have read, films I like, places I have been, jobs I have had. Suddenly, I can think of a great reason why any and all of these things happened. I always knew I was destined to be part of something amazing and great, I just didn't know what it was. I do now. 2. I can't make everyone else AND myself happy. I am much too amazing to be apologetic for who I am and what I stand for. I have a purpose on this earth that far exceeds myself or the people around me. For the past 6 years I have been adapted, restrained, contorted myself into literal and figurative spaces based on someone else and their life. I have been taken advantage of, lied to, treated unfairly, left to fend for myself, and had my heart broken by both lovers and friends. No more. I will love myself more than anyone else ever could and I will stand in that love as I accomplish my goals. It is true that love can conquer all. I am conquering self doubt, negative thoughts, fear, and hardship with love. I have risen every single time but only enough to carry myself to the next disappointment. This time is very much different, because I am on a mission. I was always on it, I just didn't see the road. This time I will not only rise, I will soar and continue to elevate myself and those around me. Those who know me, may be shocked or surprised at this shift. I am not usually a very ethereal or spiritual individual, at least I don't spend a lot of time talking about it. I have always believed in Karma though and paying it forward. I would not be where I am today if it wasn't for a lot of kind people. I also know that some people only help you if they can get something out of it themselves. By releasing things, individuals, events that do not stem from a place of love, I have gained so much more. In the next few weeks and months, Triburban will go through some growing pains along with me as I shift and narrow my focus so that it points directly to where I am going in life.

Road trip from Seattle, WA to San Diego, CA

My west coast road trip was so much fun and now my computer is slowly dying because of all the vacation pictures.  My best friend and I took a week to drive from Seattle, WA to San Diego, CA. We rented a car and stayed with friends everywhere except for two nights. Below is a breakdown of our costs in case anyone is interested in making the same trip. All figures are ball park. The numbers will of course vary if you choose to make the same trip depending on time of year, type of vehicle, and where you live. Flights Two round trip tickets to Seattle returning from San Diego:  $700 Rental Car Pick up in Seattle, drop off in sand Diego: $450 Gas Money We had a economy rental, I believe it was a Hyundai Elantra: $250  

Powell's Books inspired me

On my recent road trip from Seattle to San Diego, I visited the famous Powell's Books in Portland, OR. There are several locations in the Portland area but the flagship store that I went to has more than 1 million books! According to their website, Powell's is the largest independently owned and operated new and used bookstore in the world. [caption id="attachment_625" align="alignright" width="999"] One of the shelves in the used book section at Powell's.[/caption] For a person like me who learned how to read at the age of 5, books have always been fascinating. I was part of a book club growing up and i even started a little magazine with my little friend in middle school. Sadly, my love affair with books fizzled out after I spent several years reading for college. For me, it took the fun out of reading and I began looking at it as a chore and not an escape. I still read but I have a terrible time finishing a book. I'll get three or four chapter from the end and put the book down. I don't know what it is that makes me do this but I have been inspired to end it. At Powell's, my friend and I found these bookmarks/book lists. There's everything from Nobel Prize winners to Oprah's book club. I picked up all the lists. My challenge is to continually read a book from the lists that i have.  Feel free to read with me, cheer me on or give me tips on what to read below!

Dating Horror Stories - Blackplanet guy

well the moment has arrived. The moment when I realize that my dating history has become such a farce that It just wouldn't be fair not to share some of my stories with the public. I had a few "dating" experiences in Sweden before I moved to the states but the formal dating in the U.S. is far different from the way Europeans go about the whole thing. For all intents and purposes, I will try my best to tell these episodes in chronological order, beginning with the times leading up to my departure. This dating horror story takes place in a time where the internet was a new and exciting thing. It was mostly used by the military, people doing research and meeting people on the website Blackplanet.  I was not in the military, nor was I old enough to do research so I used my time the best I knew how: booking Greyhound tickets and chatting with random Black Americans online. I guess you could say I was conducting a bit of research - How to infiltrate the black community! Now, I know now that meeting people online is different from meeting a person in real life. You can be anyone online and back then, nobody bothered to fact check. I started talking with a  few different people and one in particular. I forget his name, lets call him Steve. You would think that I would remember him, things were pretty intense for a while there. We talked on the phone a few times, we even planned a meet up once I was in the States. He lived in Maryland and I was going to arrive in NYC. My plan, though somewhat lofty, involved hanging out in NYC with my good friend J for a few days, meet up with random black planet guy, then catch a greyhound bus to CO where my friend M lived. after that I was to at some point meet up with relatives on my mother's side who live in the Midwest. But I digress. My New York stay was coming to an end and I had not been able to get a hold of the guy to arrange a meeting.He was not answering my phone calls and I did not have a cell phone. My friends I believe were a bit relieved but it was with a heavy heart that I made my way to Port Authority and got on the bus to CO. It was not long until I had completely forgot about the guy, I was too busy staying alive on the 2 day long ride to the Rocky Mountains. PSA Announcement: Don't ride the Greyhound unless you really, really have to. I had to. I had $2000 and no solid plan. cheap travel was a necessity. Fast forward a few months. By now I am with my Midwestern family. If I remember correctly, I received a phone call, it could also have been an e-mail... It was from the boy's parents. They had somehow figured out my number/e-mail, I am guessing my mom had picked up and gave them the number to where i was in the States.... To this day I am a bit fuzzy on how they found me....Remember this is 11 or so years ago now and I have tried my best to forget the whole incident. His parents were calling me to see if  I knew where their son was. Apparently I had been talking to a person who had a lobotomy after a car accident a few years earlier. The procedure had obviously affected/impaired his judgement which was part of the reason he was still living at home! He was now missing... That's right, yours truly was infatuated with a man who had part of his brain removed and was now on the run. I was, to say the least, in a bit of a shock and disbelief after hearing this information.Seconds later, I  decided that disbelief was an illegitimate feeling in this situation. If someone tracks you down to inform you that their son has part of his brain missing and is in fact himself missing - believe them! I can see no reason as to why a perfect stranger would make something like that up. Needless to say, I did not date online for a while after that.....

Creating your own destiny- It is only up to you!

Have you ever had the feeling that something big is about to happen? That there is something in the works, churning away somewhere in the periphery of your existence, ready to explode onto the canvas of your life? Now imagine that feeling and add the realization of that force being yourself. That is kind of where I am mentally today. I am the only one that can create my destiny. My whole life, I knew I was supposed to do something really cool and fun and so far I have had a lot of experiences that were, but my life as a whole was not. At least it wasn't to me. Now, I don't know why or when this happened but I have this weird image of myself that I just can't seem to shake. It is like the outside that everyone else sees and my insides do not match. Maybe it is a lack of encouragement or feedback from my peers, maybe an insecurity rooted in my absent father figure or maybe I am just a weirdo. in any case, my entire life, I felt as though I was waiting for this moment of greatness, some magical event that would transform my life.

Every so often, I'll have this stroke of genius of an idea and think to myself: "That would be fantastic, you should do that!" Then there will be this other thought in my head: "But you don't know the first thing about that, how would you do it, where do you start? You might as well not do it at all." Basically the story of my life, right? So I go back to waiting for that amazing thing to happen to me, you know that thing that I am not entirely sure of what it is. Fast forward to today. For some time now I have been watching videos on Youtube. I watch videos on natural hair care, DYI videos and just random things recommended by the site...It has become my nightly routine. A lot of times it is better than TV. Scratch that - It IS better than TV. So, today it hit me! I keep watching all these cool people and listening to their stories rather than telling my own! If I find them and their lives fascinating, why wouldn't they or someone else for that matter, find my life fascinating? So, therefore I have decided to start making videos. "Of what?" you may ask. Well, that has yet to be determined but I can tell you one thing: It is going to be amazing!